LGBT Oral History 001: Anonymous

In this oral history, Anonymous_001 starts off discussing his family life. He states that his family life was not the best but not the worst, however after his mother left and his father developed borderline personality disorder, he decided to find ways to escape reality. He then goes on to say how his sexuality and sex cannot be disconnected from his life. After being exposed to pornography at a young age, he struggled with porn addiction throughout his adolescent and adult life. Porn introduced him to different types of sexuality and it was through porn that he discovered that he is bisexual. He discusses how his struggle with pornography led to misconceptions of what a healthy relationship looked like, as well as what a healthy sexual relationship looked like, with either a man or a woman. Consequently, his porn addiction led him to child pornography when he was 12 years old. His addiction, specifically to child pornography, continued until he was arrested in 2010 for the consumption of child pornography. After being arrested, he was admitted to a center for sexual compulsion and trauma and it was there he was told and accepted that he was addicted to sex. After his rehab was over, he was sentenced to prison for up to five years. He only served 3 ½ years, but it was during his incarceration that he had his first “real” homosexual relationship. He mentions that before this relationship, even though his friends knew he was bisexual, he had been dating a women and only acted on his homosexual desires behind closed doors in secret and through cybersex. This relationship showed him that he could have a healthy homosexual relationship if he wanted to, and that his homosexual urges did not have to be expressed only in secret. Now he is discovering himself again and discovering other people. He warns the younger generation to be careful with what they do on the internet, because the internet is not reality and will never be reality. Reality is trusting people, loving people, and accepting yourself for who you are. He also warns the younger generation that “Living alone is not a way to live and there is no reason for it.” The world is full of good people that will love you and help you, all you have to do is ask.